one year post op


#tbt to when i couldn't even put my hair up properly and took me about half an hour just to get a t-shirt on

today, 2nd of May, marks the one year anniversary of my hand operation which not to be dramatic, changed my life for both good and bad reasons.

about 10 years ago, on a holiday in Cornwall, lil Jass couldn't catch very well, and after a morning of throwing a vortex around, managed to severely dislocate and break my little finger in 2 places (a lovely thought) unknowing to this, and my parents just thinking i was being dramatic, we headed of to the beach for a fun filled day of body boarding, skim boarding and sandy fun

note to self: if you have a suspected broken finger, don't go body boarding, you will make it 100x worse for yourself. 

it was only later on that my mum decided it was about time we went to the hospital as my finger was actually twisted round to the side of my hand, ouchies

typically the goodman family, missed the x-ray by about 10 minutes and had to an extend a 5 minute drive to the next nearest hospital, an hour and a half away... in rush hour. 

we arrived in Barnstable hospital to horrified eyes as i walked into the emergency room with what could only be described as a claw, which didn't look like it should be attached to my body

low and behold, where we had left it for so long, it had fused itself back together, but in the wrong place, so, little 11 year old me, had to suffer the pain of them re-breaking the joint (and damaging my knuckle, thanks for that) and putting it in a splint

what more concerns me is my fashion sense back in 2009, but moving on.

back home i had to have regular check ups as shock horror, they'd re-broken it wrong, so now it was broken and heals in all kinds of ways, the joints didn't like each other, and all the tendons around my finger just stopped working, good.

there was one specific hospital appointment i remember, even though they gave me the strongest painkillers they could, they re-broke it for another time, and the doctor STUCK A PEN IN BETWEEN MY FINGERS AND WAS TRYING TO GET IT TO CLICK INTO PLACE BY BENDING MY FINGER AROUND A PEN... i mean hats off to him for a creative idea, but it didn't work, shock horror. 

it was only when i turned 17 i noticed it was starting to be a real issue, it hurt every time i moved my hand, during writing exams at school, it would pop out of place, and i'd have to slyly pop it back in (not sly, it always cracked, lucky people who had to listen to that) and whenever something touched the very sensitive nerves in my finger, i would pass out from the amount of pain i was in (hats off to the guy in asda who gave me a bottle of water after passing out at a checkout after a can of chickpeas hit it at the wrong angle)

specifically there was a time in thorpe park when it popped out of place on the slammer (ah i miss that ride) and i temporarily blacked out next to my horrified sister, that was real fun 

it affected everything i did, i couldn't write, i couldn't work without being jacked up on painkillers, and got to the point where i did have to take numerous days off, i couldn't drive without it being painful, and the pain even spread up to my right shoulder, and it would really catch me off guard especially at work when the pain would shoot up my arm and i'd drop a drink on the floor (oops)

9 years, 14 doctors, 6 operation dates (5 to be cancelled), i was just about done and ready to give up, then a magical letter was posted through my door, i was getting an operation, and it was the next week. terrified and a bit in shock that it was actually going to happen, so as the photo shows, i bought sexy back

i had an operation called "zancolli lassoo" or as my doctors put on my doctors note "stabilisation of weird right finger" but essentially what they did was cut one of the two tendons and wrapped it round the other, therefore giving it more strength and hopefully lowering the pain it gave me

of course, my sister, being the person that she is, wrote a lovely little poem to commemorate the claw

now a year on, i wouldn't say its 100% better, but it's a functional finger, and although the pain is still there, it's bearable. the only real issue i've had was in the snow where it got too cold, and quite literally felt like someone had ripped off the finger from my hand. but on wards on up wards

hopefully as the years progress it'll get better and not worse

I've saved the grim pictures for the end - 

Before the operation 
"the claw" 

if you didn't say that in the alien voice from toy story i'm devastated

2 weeks post op 

3 weeks post op - getting the stitches out
still with surgical sharpie on (mm, lovely) 

4 and 5 weeks post op 


a lot straighter - somewhat less pain, a more acceptable hand

as much as i hope some people enjoyed this post, i've definitely written it more as a "in a few years i can look back and either laugh at how bad it used to be, or laugh at the fact that in the future i might have just the 9 fingers" 

If you want to help me keep doing what I do, you can donate me a "coffee" here

The Coffee Life
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